The Russians! The Headbands! The Swayze!

I love my husband so much! Who else would watch the gun-loving, 1984 Cold War invasion fantasy Red Dawn with me while drinking White Russians and drink every time one of the characters said, "Don't Cry!" or, "I love you, man!"

If you have ever seen this pinnacle of Reagan-era propaganda, you will know that Smartass and I were pretty hung over the next day, as the rag-tag group of guerilla-fighting teenagers often exhorted each other to not cry or "never cry again!" and, they loved each other in a completely heterosexual way. ("I love you, man!").

Red Dawn also featured Jennifer Grey as a traumatized girl who had maybe been sodomized by rapacious Russian forces (the movie never comes out and says it, but Grey's character has a violent reaction to the common eighties phrase, "man, who put that stick up your ass". Heavy.) which led to a number of drunken "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!" jokes (Yes, I really am that lame) when Grey broke out the RPG and started taking out Russian tanks like a pro.

Oh, how I love that movie! Why haven't I seen it before now? Oh, yeah, cause nobody would watch crappy Swayze movies with me. Which is why my hubby rocks.

Next up in the Drunken Swayze Film Series: Next of Kin and Moonshine. Or maybe just beer.