Merry Christmas to All, and to All, Some Good Reads!

Everybody loves presents. Here's a list of presents from authors to readers--free reads!

1. Update: December 26, 2007 through January 1, 2008: Free Harlequin eBooks! You can download one book a day.
   
2. Paperback Writer's 2006 Free eBook Challenge
   This here is a big, mama-jama list o' free fiction. Lynn Viehl (she of the Stardoc & Darkyn novels) challenged her blog readers to write original free stories for their readers. Also, check out the sidebar for links to Viehl's outstanding freebies.
3. be delicious by Annie Dean (Ann Aguirre)
   Friends to lovers. Short. Sweet. Hot. There are actually four free stories on this page. I haven't read them all yet--but only because I'm pacing myself. ;o)
   
4. Meeting in Darkness by Imogen Howson
   Clicking around on the Drollerie Press site, I came across the cover of Ms. Howson's forthcoming YA novel, Frayed Tapestry. It is a thing of beauty. And the hook is cracktastically hookalicious. That book's on my list. Meeting in Darkness was Howson's contribution to the Romance Divas Free eBook Challenge. It's short, sweet, and I adore her writing style. Also, her freebie, Helen is available at Drollerie Press.
   
5. One Night Stand by Dionne Galace
   What happens when they stay for breakfast? (Good gory fun. This story is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach.)
   
6. The Serial
   No, this isn't shameless self-promotion. Okay. It's not just shameless self promotion. It's a Watch This Space announcement. Tumperkin's two-part short story, the Ring, is on it, and, come January, there will be something new.
   

All right. That's it, y'all. It is time for me to go forth and shop. (Yes, I know it's Christmas Eve). Here's hoping your Christmas is full of peace, love, and many, many good reads.

P.S. This list is by no means complete. Mostly, it's what I could think of off the top of my head. If you have recommendations for good free reads, please post them in the comments.

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Wow.

Wow, Part 1: Demon Night
I just finished the ARC of MelJean Brook's Demon Night that I won from Dear Author. I'm still gathering my thoughts on it--there's a lot of plot, and backstory, and detail. I don't know quite what I think of Demon Night but I am certain of two things:

1. Meljean Brook can write.
   Really. The opening of chapter one was a marvel of pacing and deftly placed detail. It sucked me in, and made me want to reread it a few more times just to admire it.
2. I want to read Brook's other books.
   Not just because this book was jam-packed with characters from earlier novels, but because I want to read something that's not quite so full of characters and ongoing plot and backstory. As a newbie reader jumping in on the third (?) book, I gotta say, Brook handled all those elements extremely well. But her big, complex world full of angels, demons, guardians, vampires, secret government agencies, prophecies, and conspiracies is like a hot bath--it's enjoyable, but it's also something you want to ease into.

Wow, Part 2: Sundial
I picked up my copy of Carrie Lofty's Sundial a couple of days ago. It's a novella, and a damned good deal at $3. Sure, it's only 67 pages, but there is at least 250 pages worth of longing, tension and angst packed into those pages. Plus, vespas! Also, a hero with a little moral ambiguity, 1950's Italy, and the loveliest final line I've read in a great long while.

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Short & Sweet: The Not a Review eBook Round Up! (pt. 1)

I ought to get some blogging mileage out of the eBooks I've read. But, I'm lazy, and I procrastinate. Sometimes it just so difficult to put my completely arbitrary and fickle opinions in print. So here's part 1 of a round up of eBooks I've read lately--Short and Sweet. Or, pleasantly tart. Or, like aspartame , with an aftertaste that some people don't mind but other people find foul. Anyway, short.

Up this round: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee, Boundless by Dean, Dee, & Galace, Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde.

1. Natural Law, by Joey W. Hill
   I've heard so very, very many good things about this book, I had to give it a try. If you've been under an even more obscure rock than the one I was under, and haven't heard of this book, I'll warn you, it's a BDSM Romance. Given that my stories tend to be a little--shall we say, violent?--you may think it strange when I say that while I found this book to be wildly romantic, I did not find it hot. Ok, maybe a little.
   
   Thing is I'm not fond of rules in books, because that makes for a lot of 'splaining. And these BDSM people, apparently they have rules, rules, rules. Which, given the sorts of things they do with (and put into) each other is probably a very good thing. Anyway, Hill manages a pretty non-intrusive primer on the subculture her characters inhabit, but that sort of exposition is a stunt which less talented writers should not practice without benefit of a spotter and a net.
   
   So, teh secks? Not so much. But the romance--the Romance!! Joey W. Hill rocks. The two main characters, they have to get all psychological and shit, finding each other's boundaries, and learning to trust. And there's a BDSM psycho killer on the loose. But never mind the psycho killer. It's the boundaries/trust/emotion thing going on with the protagonists that makes this book riveting, emotional, wildly romantic, and--dare I say it?--sweet. Rating: Sweet as Pure Cane(d) sugar.
   
   
   
   
   
2. Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee*
   It takes some kind of chutzpah to set a short, sweet, hopeful romance in poverty-stricken 1930s Appalachia. And let me tell you, friends, Bonnie Dee puts the C&H in chutzpah! Not only did she set her romance in rather depressing (pun intended) era, she made it an erotic romance. And then, girlfriend made her hero a minister! Oooh. Ladies and gentleman, can the Amazing Ms Dee pull off such an astounding feat of Romance-writing daring-do?
   
   She sure as hell can. And then some. Dee has the chops to back up her nerve. Blackberry Pie is sweet, emotional and hot. Rating: (You knew this was coming) Sweet as Pie.
   
   
3. Boundless, by Dean, Dee, Galace
   Usually, anthologies are like a box of assorted chocolates--there's at least one you won't like. Not so, this anthology. It was like a box of Godiva Truffles, where even the confection I liked least, was still very tasty.Seven Days by Annie Dean
   My favorite of the bunch was Annie Dean's Seven Days. Theresa, an aspiring nun about to take her vows when a sexy devil named Dev tries to tempt her to forgo her vows, and with them, her immortal soul. What a gem! Like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, every element of this story came together to create a treat of pure perfection. Short stories often seem too short, but Seven Days was just right--sweet, nuanced and rich.
   
   The Straw Man by Bonnie Dee
   A thirty-something rural woman's unwitting wish transforms a scarecrow into the man of her dreams for a single night, but they want to stay together forever. Short and sweet. Despite the brief timespan of the novel, Dee manages to make the Romance believable. This one was like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Truffle. Tasty and sweet, it hit the spot.
   
   Waking Kitty by Dionne Galace
   I have to admit, I was hooked by this story way back when Bam posted the first chapter in the writing samples section of her website. When hard drinking, skeptical old fashioned reporter Jack meets pink-haired waitress Kitty, strange things start happening. The first chapter is a knockout, but the rest of the story feels rushed. Of the three, this is the story I felt should have been longer. The love story kind of gets squashed in between Kitty's journey of self-discovery and all the crazy happenings. It's kinda like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Key Lime Truffle--the delicious tartness is often too much for the thin shell of chocolate surrounding it.
   
   
4. Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde*
   You may not know this, but I ::heart:: Elvis. And I ::superheart:: Elvis impersonators. But now that you do know this, you won't be surprised when I squee! like a thirteen year old fangirl after a pack of pixie sticks about Veronica Wilde's Hunk of Burning Love. But please don't write the book off because of my fandom. Hunk of Burning Love is a fun, well-rounded short story. You should read it. Rating:Fried Peanutbutter and banana sandwich, with honey on top. Mmmm!

Up next time: The Dragon Knight by Summer Devon, Hard to Guard by Nina Mamone and Blood Will Tell by December Quinn.

*Just to note, in addition to my usual arbitrary biases, my first novella, Like a Thief in the Night will be part of Samhain's Strangers in the Night anthology along with stories by Bonnie Dee and Veronica Wilde. For me, this is cause to celebrate because my story is appearing alongside the work of two such mahvellous writers. For you, you may decide this compromises the integrity of my review.

If so, please remember the following:

1. I never claimed to be impartial.
2. I am being honest about how much I like those books.
3. This is Not a Review.
   

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Shamless Photo Opportunity

The weekend before last, I was working on my tan. Now, I'm staring out at rain. Rain! In September! Usually things are on fire right about now. I can't complain, though. We need the rain. But I can look back on...the way we were.

Actually, I'm just looking for an opportunity to post a few pictures I took this summer.

Here be Dragons
My husband and I were driving through Chinatown a couple of weeks ago and we passed this dragon troupe finishing up their day. The troupe was spread out over a whole block. The second picture is the stragglers at the rear. They looked a little tired, and I can't blame them. It was hot!

Despite the heat, it was a beautiful day to be in downtown. The air was very clear and the sky seemed as high and wide as my imagination would allow.

I like to joke about the smog, but the sad fact is, in the summer it often hangs around and gives everything a dingy brown cast.
I'm sure that smog is doing something awful to my lungs, but the good days remind me why I couldn't live anywhere else.

Every time I look at this picture (left), I'm amazed it was taken in Downtown LA during late summer--and I took it!

Shoutouts
Shoutout to Kate who reminded me that I'd best get blogging. I was unexpectedly out of town this week and busy, busy, busy. But that's no reason to neglect the blog.

I've also been spending my downtime (Travel is great for downtime. Thanks, TSA!) writing a freebie story for my website which the lovely and talented Dionne Galace (a.k.a. Bam, who Swears It's Not Chick Porn) will debut on her site (thanks!).

But here's the problem with doing the author website thing: I have to walk my talk. I love it when an author includes one or two short stories on their web site amongst the usual excerpts and multi-paragraph teasers. Which means, I need to write a complete story for my site.

Write Now
I started up last weekend, and I'm 11,500 words into a 12k to 15k story called "Ember". Problem is, the damned thing's running long. I always start off worried about making my word count, and end up running over it. So I'm editing. I firmly believe you should "Kill Your Darlings" but they're so hard to kill when you only wrote them a day or two ago.

I think I need to find a writing/critique group.

In addition to the writing, I'm reading Wings to the Kingdom by Cherie Priest, who Kate linked to a few days back (see what you did?). I finished the previous book, Four and Twenty Blackbirds before I even got back to town. I was kicking myself for only packing the first one. At the time, I thought I wouldn't even have time to finish Blackbirds, but I forgot that a good book makes you make time for it--usually at the expense of sleep.

This just occurred to me: Rainy weekends are perfect for reading and writing. I think I like the rain, now.

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This is Not a Review: E-Books Ahoy!

Skin to Skin by Dionne Galace
Dionne Galace (aka Bam of It's Not Chick Porn) has been entertaining me for quite some time with her hilarious and highly-entertaining blog posts. So when her novella "Skin to Skin" came out, buying it was pretty much automatic. The woman is funny, and the writing samples on her site are intriguing, too.

Full Disclosure: Bam's having a contest, and anyone who links to her site is eligible to win. Which is what inspired me to get off my ass and write a Not a Review.

Synopsis: In the midst of a San Diego heatwave, Leilani lusts after her neighbor Oliver, and his big, enticing swimming pool. Ollie's recovering from a bullet wound in a sensitive region, and Leilani's skimpy outfits and blatant overtures are making him very uncomfortable.

So here's what I liked about it:
1) Biracial Heroine, yay! Honestly, we brown girls just love to see brown girls in print--especially when those brown girls are hot and self-confident. Also, Leilani is the sort of heroine who knows what she wants and goes for it.
2) Fun, contemporary writing style. Can I tell you how many novels I've read where the characters are in their mid-twenties, but talk like forty-year olds? Actually, I can't. It happens so often, I've lost count. The characters in Skin to Skin actually sound like post Gen X soCal residents. And as a post-GenX soCal resident, I appreciate and applaud that.
3) Hot! Skin to Skin has hot weather, a hot hero, and hot hot hot love love scenes.
Here's what I didn't like about it:
a) Too short. I think that's my complaint about both of the novellas in this installment of "This is Not a Review". Too. Damn. Short.
b) Not a whole lot of character development going on. But, hey, it's a novella. See item "a" above: Too. Damn. Short.
c) The word "weeping" used as an adjective for an organ other than the eye. Personal pet peeve. The fact that I kept reading past it proves point 3, above: Hot!

Rating: Everstar 8000 BTU Portable Air-Conditioner. Just the thing to cool off after a hot read.


Learning Charity by Summer Devon
I think I've read most or all of Summer Devon's (aka Kate R's) ebooks. And every one of her books has had really great characters. Learning Charity is really damn short, but Devon does a great job of fleshing out her characters and making them likable. I don't know how she does it. Maybe I need to read the novella again, for research. Purely academic research. And not because this novella is H-O-T. Even though it is. Really. Hot.

Synopsis: In nineteenth century England, Charity is a daughter of the gentry fallen on hard times. Forced to make her living as Cherry the whore, she is less than enthusiastic about the duties of her profession until she meets American, Elliot Stevens.

What I liked:
1) Devon's got chops. Her writing style is always engaging, even in this very short story. Her afore-mentioned talent for characters gives the story an emotional depth I didn't expect from a short story.
2) I believe I may have mentioned this a time or two in my intro: Hot.
What I didn't like:
a) Too. Damn. Short. Really. Learning Charity is basically a one-set, one-act play. I wouldn't have minded seeing the characters in different scenes and circumstances.

Rating: How did people keep cool back in the old days? Painted fans and lemonade. This read gets 3 Fans (One for each hand, and a very agile foot.) And a straw so you can drink your lemonade. You'll need it.

I've got a couple more ebooks on the old hard drive, so, if you like arbitrary non-reviews, watch this space for: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee.

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Falling Between the Crack

"Mommy, mommy, why are those two circles kissing?"

"Well, honey, when two or more circles love each other very much, they get married and form a Venn Diagram."

Am I the only romance reader who plays video games? Or maybe I'm the only romance reader who plays the sort of cheesy, button-mashing action games that read like they were thought up by a focus group of stoned 14 year old boys.

Or maybe I'm just the only one geeky enough to make a diagram about it.

Point is, I saw this:


And immediately thought of this:


If you don't play video games, please trust me when I say that this game is not exactly the highpoint of the modern video game experience. The plot reads like fan fiction based on a corporate-sponsored Saturday morning cartoon; the hero levels up with strange new powers toward the end; it features both a tormented, brooding quasi-demonic hero with major mother issues and a scantily clad vixen with mysterious intentions who somehow reminds the hero of his mother.

Actually, I guess the two entertainment products aren't so dissimilar, after all.

Aww. Don't be hatin', cause I'm not. You know I love the cheesy goodness. I kid, because I love.

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This is Not a Review: Wired by Liz Maverick

Wired, by Liz Maverick
Other people who have read this book--people who write actual reviews and not just arbitrary judgments, como yo --have noted that this book really isn't a romance, and I agree. Wired is more of a Sci-Fi adventure than it is a romance--not that there's anything wrong with that. Except, of course, that if a book is billed as a romance, other readers might expect it to be about, you know, romance.

Synopsis: Roxanne is walking to 7-11 one night when two men appear in the street and start fighting with each other--over her. One of them is Mason Merrick, Roxanne's old roommate's hot ex boyfriend, and the other is Leonardo Kayser, a suave Englishman of dubious moral virtue. Mason and Leonardo are "wire-crossers" from the future who can reroute events in the past to alter the reality of the present. Both men want a piece of code that our girl Rox hasn't even written yet.

Roxanne feels some attraction for both men, but there's never any doubt as to who she'll end up with. And, as most of the story revolves around Roxy's attempts to understand the whole wire-crossing thing and take charge of her destiny, there's not so much room for romance, anyway.

Maverick's writing style is fast-paced and engaging. Roxanne is a likable first-person narrator but the story suffers from some of the common downfalls of first-person POV: a vague sense of setting and secondary characters that never really come to life. The story was a good read, and though the narrative pulled me along, it never quite pulled me in.

Wired made for great vacation reading, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for the paperback equivalent of a mid-tier summer action movie.

Rating: On a scale of 2007 Summer Action Movies, with Fantastic 4 being the worst and The Bourne Ultimatum being the best, Wired, by Liz Maverick would be...

Live Free or Die Hard:
(Not quite what I expected, but with this much fast-paced action, who cares?)

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Always Bet on Black...

Eh. Who am I kidding? Cheap, tacky grouch that I am, I much prefer the Elvis slot machines and the Scrabble (tm) $0.05 slots. I am, amazingly enough, blogging from the road. From Fabulous Las Vegas, to be exact.

I had a rough couple days of it trying to finish "Burning Bright," but clocked it in at somewhere north of 27K words in the car on Tuesday. But then...the $12.95 per day/per computer hotel wi-fi fritzed, and gmail had some issues, and the promised "modem features" on our all-thing phone devices did not live up to the hype. I think my heart stopped. I got it sent, though. Badly.

My darling Smartass is smart with more than just verbal quips, and finally got the all-thing phones to live up to their promises. So here I am, blogging from my laptop, hooked through the phone. The hotel wi-fi still doesn't work. I will definitely be disputing that charge at check out.

Books I'm Reading by the Pool

1. Wired, by Liz Maverick
2. Black Powder War, by Naomi Novik
3. D.A. by Connie Willis
4. Sundry Trashy Tabloids
   

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Sing It Like Prince: Controversy

To quote the Purple One, "I just can't believe all the things people say (Controversy!) ". There seems to be a whole lot of postin' going on at Smart Bitches, Karen Scott, Kate R. and other sites regarding the Shomi authors who dressed as their characters at the RWA convention, the role of blogging, and what constitutes a personal attack. I'm not about to join the flame wars, and I'm not here to offer another opinion on Professionalism v. Publicity. Plenty of people have done that, and, frankly, I'm bored with it. (I'm also too lazy to add links to the other blogs mentioned above. Most of 'em are linked in the side bar, so click away.)

But here's the thing about controversy: for the price of a couple of pairs of thigh highs, Shomi generated a hell of a lot of buzz. To be honest, I'm beyond caring about the authors' behavior. Instead, I'm wondering what Shomi books are like. Are Shomi heroines as daring and ire-inspiring as Shomi authors? 'Cause that might make for a good book. If I had room in my budget for two more books this month, I'd buy Liz Maverick's and Marianne Mancusi's titles. Heck, given my poor impulse control, I'll probably buy them anyway.

Controversy has a way of generating public interest, even when the publicity seems bad. So here's the $65,000* Question: Will there be fewer authors in costume at next year's RWA* conference in San Francisco, or more?


*$65,000 not included / I'm not affiliated with RWA.

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I Can Has Books: Redux

Just as I was running out of the books I ordered with the gift certificate I won in Bam's July contest, I won another book (Marjorie M. Liu's Soul Song) in a random drawing on Lynne Viehl's Paperback Writer Blog. Woo hoo! Also, thanks to my mad Inter-Library Loan skillz (and half-dozen library cards) I was able to get my hands on Throne of Jade, book two in Naomi Novik's Temeraire series.

I devoured Throne of Jade in less than a day. It was yummy, but not quite as filling as the first book. It suffered from being a transitional book in the series. A lot of the emotional weight of the plot hangs on some questions which are very easy to guess, given that this is a series, and I've already got the next book on order.

Nevertheless, Novik again delivered a fascinating, imaginative, well-rounded world, with characters I've really come to care about. Can't wait for round 3.

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I Can Has Books?

Joy and happiness! I won an Amazon Gift Certificate in Bam's July Contest. While I am so very happy that people liked my entry, I am beside myself ecstatic to be able to buy books again! Not that I don't heart the library, but I'm the kind of girl who likes her gratification instant. That hold list just wasn't cutting it.

A while back, I made a list of books I'd love to buy when I got money. There were five on the list. I'd ordered exactly two when I noticed that Kage Baker's final Company novel, Sons of Heaven, will be out on July 10th, 2007. My mom and I are both hooked on this series, and seeing as she gave birth to me and all, I figured it might be a nice thing to get a book I could maybe lend her...after I've read it a couple of times.

Anyhoo, Sons of Heaven kinda screwed with my list, so I had to switch things up.

1. Sons of Heaven by Kage Baker.
   Baker is an incredible writer with a sly, dry wit; an admirable appreciation for pirates; and a delightful appreciation for California history (Even though it's set in the 19th century, Mendoza in Hollywood is on my list of all-time favorite Books Set In Los Angeles). Her Company novels are a vast, conspiracy-riddled tapestry of interconnecting novels and short stories that span, oh, all of human history, and then some. Sons of Heaven is supposed to wrap up this tale of time-travel, immortal cyborgs, corporate iniquity and star-crossed love. Goody. I've been waiting years to see how it all turns out.
   
   
2. God is Not Great by Christopher Hitchens
   My favorite droll, drunken Brit. I don't always agree with the man, but I love the way he shows those Fox News bobbleheads up for the blathering echo-chamber of idiots they are. For that alone, he deserves my money, but the book looks pretty interesting, too.
   
   
3. The Rest Falls Away by Colleen Gleeson
   Vampire slayer tale that rates (favorable) comparisons to Buffy? History-ish setting? Many good reviews? Okay, I'll bite.
   
   
4. The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
   Hard-boiled/Noir classic. I love me some Hammett. While writing on my WIP, Bright, I was thinking about Hammett's description of Sam Spade ("He looked rather pleasantly like a blond Satan"*) when I realized that even though I'd read The Maltese Falcon several times, I didn't own the book.
   
   The Maltese Falcon is my third favorite Hammett novel. My adoration of Hammett characters goes: Continental Op (there's just something about a morally flexible, nameless hero that gets me every time); Nick Charles (The Thin Man. Actually, I'm more partial to William Powell than the book version, but when I read it, I imagine William Powell); Sam Spade (for some reason, I never imagine Bogart when I read the Maltese Falcon. Funny since I love the movie, and I think the out-the-window fade to black is one of the loveliest around, but there you go.)
   
   I just love the way Hammett writes. Spare, and what a way with descriptions and dialog! Red Harvest is my favorite, and it's my go-to book when I think I'm getting too wordy. Still, third place ain't nothing to sneeze at. And, The Maltese Falcon fit my remaining budget, with free shipping to boot.
   

*FYI, the thing I love about the description is that Hammett describes his character in a way that makes Spade seem attractive, but not handsome. I was writing a description of a character with an attractive/ugly vibe.

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My Words!

Kate R. blogged that she can spot everyone else's overused words, but not her own. Which got me thinking:

1) I don't know quite how I feel about overused words. Sometimes, as in the case of Barbara Hambly's use of "chiaroscuro," the word feels like an old friend. Other times, seeing the same word or phrase over and over again can set my teeth on edge. David Eddings is often criticized for recycling plots, characters, etc, but it was his overuse of the phrase "kind of" in character dialog that made me throw the book at the wall. Big book, poor wall.

2) What are my overused words? A quick survey of my current WIP yields the following suspects: penchant, languor, cruel. Also, I freely admit my abuse and misuse of the word "also" in correspondence and blog posts.

3) I know I have some kind of nerve to solicit comments (my highest count ever is, like, 6) but what are your overused words? Are there any authors/words that drive you crazy?

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Hair-o-whine....

Flowing tresses, silken locks - what is it with long-haired heroines in Romance novels? Maili's post on cutting her hair got me thinking about women and hair and standards of attractiveness. I'd like to think we are past the days when a woman's hair was regarded as her crowning glory, but in Romances long hair = teh sexy.

I've only had hair past my shoulders a couple if times, but both instances, I noticed that I tended to shed a lot. It was all over the bathroom counter, in the drain, and it tended to get, um, caught, or pulled or leaned on in intimate situations. Ow. So why the thing with long hair?

Is it all those video vixens shaking their asses and hair around? Or the girls gone wild whose flailing straw like manes, stringy with beersweat and Fructis often hide their faces even as they surrender their dignity? Yes, long hair is a sign of youth, but lately it's started to seem a little trashy, too.

Harlequin Presents aside, most romance readers outgrew stories about timid chignon-sporting secretaries falling in lurve with domineering rich jackasses decades their seniors back in the early - okay, late - eighties. Can't we give up on the flowing silken tresses, gilded locks and other hair hyperbole?

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The End by Lemony Snicket

This isn't a review. Really. I haven't even read the book yet. This is just a warning. You may not see me for a week or so. I'll be savoring the thirteenth and final installment of "A Series of Unfortunate Events". I'll be reading it slowly, like a kid with a lollipop - loving it but trying like hell to resist the urge to devour the thing in one great big bite. And no matter when I finish, it will be too soon, because this is the last book in the series - a fact that both elates and depresses me.

And to anyone who has ever wondered why I hate series books, please reread the pathetic paragraph above. Then recall that I have spent years buying these books, and now have thirteen of the damned things sitting on my shelf making me coo in admiration at the beauty of a completed collection, even as I silently lambaste myself for being such a sucker.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a book to read.

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Imagined Histories: A Grand Hoax

I am simply dying to read An Incomplete History of the Art of Funerary Violin. Those who know me personally will find nothing unusual about this. I love unusual subjects. The history of the Spanish-American cochineal trade? I'm dye-ing to read it! The history of corn? I'm all ears! Class and gender hierarchy as seen in Victorian-era American furniture? I'm positively beside myshelf with anticipation. And don't even get me started on 20th Century crime scene photography...

A history of an obscure yet morbid trend in popular music sounds right up my nonfiction alley. Except, it's not - nonfiction, that is. Despite it's title, An Incomplete History of the Art of Funerary Violin is no history at all, but rather a flight of fancy, an imagined history of people, events and music that never really existed.

It is, in short, a hoax. Which is why I'm desperate to read it. There's something fascinating about historical hoaxes. From the Masons to the Mormons, historical hoaxes usually purport to reveal the mysteries of the past on a grand scale. An Incomplete History of the Art of Funerary Violin seems so minor, so low key, I doubt anyone other than historians of 19th century popular violin music (all two of them) would care whether it was true or not. I wonder what motivated the author to write it.

I have always wanted to write fiction, to entertain people with improbable yarns spun out of my woolgathering and daydreams. But someone who writes a fictive history and then tries to pass it off as fact must want more. He doesn't just want the goodwill of his audience, he wants their belief. And that is a much more intimate, and dangerous thing.

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