Short & Sweet: The Not a Review eBook Round Up! (pt. 1)

I ought to get some blogging mileage out of the eBooks I've read. But, I'm lazy, and I procrastinate. Sometimes it just so difficult to put my completely arbitrary and fickle opinions in print. So here's part 1 of a round up of eBooks I've read lately--Short and Sweet. Or, pleasantly tart. Or, like aspartame , with an aftertaste that some people don't mind but other people find foul. Anyway, short.

Up this round: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee, Boundless by Dean, Dee, & Galace, Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde.

1. Natural Law, by Joey W. Hill
   I've heard so very, very many good things about this book, I had to give it a try. If you've been under an even more obscure rock than the one I was under, and haven't heard of this book, I'll warn you, it's a BDSM Romance. Given that my stories tend to be a little--shall we say, violent?--you may think it strange when I say that while I found this book to be wildly romantic, I did not find it hot. Ok, maybe a little.
   
   Thing is I'm not fond of rules in books, because that makes for a lot of 'splaining. And these BDSM people, apparently they have rules, rules, rules. Which, given the sorts of things they do with (and put into) each other is probably a very good thing. Anyway, Hill manages a pretty non-intrusive primer on the subculture her characters inhabit, but that sort of exposition is a stunt which less talented writers should not practice without benefit of a spotter and a net.
   
   So, teh secks? Not so much. But the romance--the Romance!! Joey W. Hill rocks. The two main characters, they have to get all psychological and shit, finding each other's boundaries, and learning to trust. And there's a BDSM psycho killer on the loose. But never mind the psycho killer. It's the boundaries/trust/emotion thing going on with the protagonists that makes this book riveting, emotional, wildly romantic, and--dare I say it?--sweet. Rating: Sweet as Pure Cane(d) sugar.
   
   
   
   
   
2. Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee*
   It takes some kind of chutzpah to set a short, sweet, hopeful romance in poverty-stricken 1930s Appalachia. And let me tell you, friends, Bonnie Dee puts the C&H in chutzpah! Not only did she set her romance in rather depressing (pun intended) era, she made it an erotic romance. And then, girlfriend made her hero a minister! Oooh. Ladies and gentleman, can the Amazing Ms Dee pull off such an astounding feat of Romance-writing daring-do?
   
   She sure as hell can. And then some. Dee has the chops to back up her nerve. Blackberry Pie is sweet, emotional and hot. Rating: (You knew this was coming) Sweet as Pie.
   
   
3. Boundless, by Dean, Dee, Galace
   Usually, anthologies are like a box of assorted chocolates--there's at least one you won't like. Not so, this anthology. It was like a box of Godiva Truffles, where even the confection I liked least, was still very tasty.Seven Days by Annie Dean
   My favorite of the bunch was Annie Dean's Seven Days. Theresa, an aspiring nun about to take her vows when a sexy devil named Dev tries to tempt her to forgo her vows, and with them, her immortal soul. What a gem! Like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Raspberry Truffle, every element of this story came together to create a treat of pure perfection. Short stories often seem too short, but Seven Days was just right--sweet, nuanced and rich.
   
   The Straw Man by Bonnie Dee
   A thirty-something rural woman's unwitting wish transforms a scarecrow into the man of her dreams for a single night, but they want to stay together forever. Short and sweet. Despite the brief timespan of the novel, Dee manages to make the Romance believable. This one was like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Truffle. Tasty and sweet, it hit the spot.
   
   Waking Kitty by Dionne Galace
   I have to admit, I was hooked by this story way back when Bam posted the first chapter in the writing samples section of her website. When hard drinking, skeptical old fashioned reporter Jack meets pink-haired waitress Kitty, strange things start happening. The first chapter is a knockout, but the rest of the story feels rushed. Of the three, this is the story I felt should have been longer. The love story kind of gets squashed in between Kitty's journey of self-discovery and all the crazy happenings. It's kinda like Godiva's Dark Chocolate Key Lime Truffle--the delicious tartness is often too much for the thin shell of chocolate surrounding it.
   
   
4. Hunk of Burning Love by Veronica Wilde*
   You may not know this, but I ::heart:: Elvis. And I ::superheart:: Elvis impersonators. But now that you do know this, you won't be surprised when I squee! like a thirteen year old fangirl after a pack of pixie sticks about Veronica Wilde's Hunk of Burning Love. But please don't write the book off because of my fandom. Hunk of Burning Love is a fun, well-rounded short story. You should read it. Rating:Fried Peanutbutter and banana sandwich, with honey on top. Mmmm!

Up next time: The Dragon Knight by Summer Devon, Hard to Guard by Nina Mamone and Blood Will Tell by December Quinn.

*Just to note, in addition to my usual arbitrary biases, my first novella, Like a Thief in the Night will be part of Samhain's Strangers in the Night anthology along with stories by Bonnie Dee and Veronica Wilde. For me, this is cause to celebrate because my story is appearing alongside the work of two such mahvellous writers. For you, you may decide this compromises the integrity of my review.

If so, please remember the following:

1. I never claimed to be impartial.
2. I am being honest about how much I like those books.
3. This is Not a Review.
   

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This is Not a Review: E-Books Ahoy!

Skin to Skin by Dionne Galace
Dionne Galace (aka Bam of It's Not Chick Porn) has been entertaining me for quite some time with her hilarious and highly-entertaining blog posts. So when her novella "Skin to Skin" came out, buying it was pretty much automatic. The woman is funny, and the writing samples on her site are intriguing, too.

Full Disclosure: Bam's having a contest, and anyone who links to her site is eligible to win. Which is what inspired me to get off my ass and write a Not a Review.

Synopsis: In the midst of a San Diego heatwave, Leilani lusts after her neighbor Oliver, and his big, enticing swimming pool. Ollie's recovering from a bullet wound in a sensitive region, and Leilani's skimpy outfits and blatant overtures are making him very uncomfortable.

So here's what I liked about it:
1) Biracial Heroine, yay! Honestly, we brown girls just love to see brown girls in print--especially when those brown girls are hot and self-confident. Also, Leilani is the sort of heroine who knows what she wants and goes for it.
2) Fun, contemporary writing style. Can I tell you how many novels I've read where the characters are in their mid-twenties, but talk like forty-year olds? Actually, I can't. It happens so often, I've lost count. The characters in Skin to Skin actually sound like post Gen X soCal residents. And as a post-GenX soCal resident, I appreciate and applaud that.
3) Hot! Skin to Skin has hot weather, a hot hero, and hot hot hot love love scenes.
Here's what I didn't like about it:
a) Too short. I think that's my complaint about both of the novellas in this installment of "This is Not a Review". Too. Damn. Short.
b) Not a whole lot of character development going on. But, hey, it's a novella. See item "a" above: Too. Damn. Short.
c) The word "weeping" used as an adjective for an organ other than the eye. Personal pet peeve. The fact that I kept reading past it proves point 3, above: Hot!

Rating: Everstar 8000 BTU Portable Air-Conditioner. Just the thing to cool off after a hot read.


Learning Charity by Summer Devon
I think I've read most or all of Summer Devon's (aka Kate R's) ebooks. And every one of her books has had really great characters. Learning Charity is really damn short, but Devon does a great job of fleshing out her characters and making them likable. I don't know how she does it. Maybe I need to read the novella again, for research. Purely academic research. And not because this novella is H-O-T. Even though it is. Really. Hot.

Synopsis: In nineteenth century England, Charity is a daughter of the gentry fallen on hard times. Forced to make her living as Cherry the whore, she is less than enthusiastic about the duties of her profession until she meets American, Elliot Stevens.

What I liked:
1) Devon's got chops. Her writing style is always engaging, even in this very short story. Her afore-mentioned talent for characters gives the story an emotional depth I didn't expect from a short story.
2) I believe I may have mentioned this a time or two in my intro: Hot.
What I didn't like:
a) Too. Damn. Short. Really. Learning Charity is basically a one-set, one-act play. I wouldn't have minded seeing the characters in different scenes and circumstances.

Rating: How did people keep cool back in the old days? Painted fans and lemonade. This read gets 3 Fans (One for each hand, and a very agile foot.) And a straw so you can drink your lemonade. You'll need it.

I've got a couple more ebooks on the old hard drive, so, if you like arbitrary non-reviews, watch this space for: Natural Law by Joey W. Hill, Blackberry Pie by Bonnie Dee.

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This is a Review: Revealing Skills

As with all my (not a) reviews, descriptions are half-assed, my taste is mercurial, and ratings are assigned entirely by whim.

In most Fantasy novels, if chapter one introduces the main character mucking out stables or scrubbing pots in the kitchen, you can bet your subscription to Everquest that Young Humble Stableboy/Scullerygirl won't be holding that menial position for long. In no time at all, YHS/S will fall in with Interesting Company, discover a Hidden Talent, undertake a Great Journey and become an Important Person.

If a Fantasy novel also happens to be an erotic romance, the Great Journey may traipse through the bedroom, the linen closet, the dungeon, and various anatomically challenging positions before YHS/S becomes an Important Person and gets his/her hornily ever after, but the basic premise is the same.

But if the author of that Fantasy erotic romance is Summer Devon (aka Kate Rothwell), you can expect tired tropes and genre conventions to be twisted, turned on their heads, and tickled 'til they beg for mercy. This is, after all, the author whose cursed-to-be invisible heroine actually had some fun. Devon also dared to write a story with a virgin hero.

[You have earned the Chalice of Chutzpah, +5 Hit Points]

Revealing Skills by Summer Devon
Synopsis: Tabica is a Young Humble Slave in the castle of a mean baron. When she helps shape-changing escaped prisoner Gilrohan hide from the baron, shenanigans and sexin' ensue. Like every good little fantasy heroine, Tabica has heretofore unrealized magical talents. And since this Fantasy tale is also an erotic romance, I'm sure you can guess what and who it takes to bring those talents to light.

The Summer Devon novels I've read have all had a sort of easy-going good nature. She doesn't go in for overwrought drama or dark whiny angst, and I find that pretty damned refreshing.

[You have earned the Plot that Refreshes, +23 Health Points]

Where another author might have played the very played out "beauty and the beast" angle of the shape-changer trope, Devon's take reads like an ex-rated retelling of an extra-hijinky episode of Bewitched.

[You have earned the Helmet of Hijinkiness, +12 Hit Points]

Devon strikes a good balance with setting, deftly sketching an world that is unique enough to draw you in and familiar enough to keep you reading, but is never cliche. As always, her main characters are appealing and likable from the start. Tabica and Gilrohan could easily exist in a story that didn't feature shape-changers and magic.

[You have discovered the Wand of Worldbuilding and the Cape of Character, +9 Defense Points]

The first chapter pulled me right in. Gilrohan changes into a rat in order to escape the mean baron's dungeon. Tabica recognizes Gilrohan-the-rat as a shape-changing morphlange and saves him when he gets caught by a servant. Lucky for Gilrohan, and for the reader's delicate sensibilities, he changes back into a man when Tabica touches him.

The two feel an immediate, inexplicable attraction to each other, and proceed to act on it throughout the book.

[You have been struck by the Arrow of Inexplicable Attraction, -8 Health Points]

The problem is, while our two lovers' appetites stay hot, the story itself sort of looses steam after the first few* chapters.

[You have become lost in the Fjords of Fiznuckin', -9 Health Points]

The complication that keeps the lovers apart feels contrived. Toward the end of the story, Tabica gains an irrational admirer and comes down with a case of magical who-ha .

[You have been cursed with the Codpiece of Cliche, -2 Hit Points]

Devon is a gifted writer with talent for creating realistic, relatable characters while turning genre conventions on their collective ear. Revealing Skills starts strong and is consistently readable, but it is rather disappointing to watch an interesting, inventive beginning wander into mediocrity.

Rating:

You are a 4th level Mermaid

(beautiful at the start, but kind of fishy toward the tail end)

* Note, originally, the linked portion of the review read "first two chapters", but the version I read had an extra-long chapter two. I believe the chapters of the final versions are different.

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