Friday, October 6, 2006

This is Not A Review

Okay, let's get the preliminaries out of the way: I love to write. I love to read. I hate to write about reading. Still, I ought to get some sort of blogging mileage out of my book habit. So here are a few thoughts on books I've read lately. Descriptions are half-assed, ratings are assigned by whim.

Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder
Synopsis: A prisoner condemned to death gets a new lease on life as the food taster for a well-meaning military dictator. The setting is the best thing about the book. Picture your standard pre-industrial fantasy setting - the one with lords, ladies, and downtrodden peasants, but not elves & orcs. Then imagine it got taken over by fascists - the downtrodden peasants all get bread & uniforms, and if there were trains, they would run on time. (+5 Points for originality). It is against this improbable backdrop that the heroine (I forget her name) learns secrets, uncovers plots and discovers her own hidden strengths and talents...yadda yadda...finds love...yadda yadda... sequel bait (-5 points for sequel bait).

A fast, fun read. I've already got the sequel (-5 points for being a sequel) ready to go after I finish the Western I'm reading. Rating: 3.14159265 Stars

With the recent rabid fangirl drama going on at J.R. Ward's boards, I decided to post Not-a-Reviews for the books of hers that I've read.

Dark Lover by J.R. Ward
Synopsis: Clueless, beautiful, violet-eyed half-vampire chick in upstate New York has some instant attraction with gigantic glowy-eyed, leather-wearing blind vampire king. Campiness (+1 star), hoyay (+3 stars) , label-whore descriptions (-2 stars) and unabashed sequel-bait (-12 stars) ensue.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've loved to go to Camp! Silly, campy, quite entertaining. Rating: 82%

Lover Eternal by J.R. Ward
Synopsis: Clueless, dying Mary Sue Luce in upstate New York has some instant attraction with gigantic glowy-eyed, leather-wearing vampire warrior. Campiness (+2 stars), hoyay (+45 stars) , label-whore descriptions (-8 stars) and unabashed sequel-bait (-3,562 stars) ensue.

Every summer at Camp is always the same. You keep going until you outgrow it. While I will always have a warm glow in my heart when I see some kid wearing a friendship bracelet, I don't remember why I ever wasted so much time on the damn things.

Rating: 867-5309